


"just so u k davids a blanket hog xx"

by therapychicken



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Clint and Marcy just want Patrick (and David) to be happy, Domestic Fluff, Episode: s05e11 Meet the Parents, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, I mean it doesn't really match what we see on screen but it is the prompt so, I mean it is Flufftober after all, M/M, Parent-Child Relationship, Post-Episode: s05e14 Life is a Cabaret, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love, and a random selection of other bits of S4 and S5, domesticity porn, sort of an au?, the things you do when you love another person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:46:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26622364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therapychicken/pseuds/therapychicken
Summary: Patrick is very excited both to [dramatic pause] SLEEP with David and also to just generally literally sleep with David, like in the same bed. Turns out, though, that sleeping with David means waking up in the middle of the night with frozen toes.AKA Patrick's feelings about David the blanket hog through S4-5.
Relationships: Clint Brewer/Marcy Brewer, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 32
Kudos: 124
Collections: Rose Apothecary Flufftober 2020





	"just so u k davids a blanket hog xx"

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:**
> 
> "Stop hogging the blankets"

The first time that David and Patrick slept together- like, literally slept, lying down- was in Stevie’s apartment.

Patrick got a text from Stevie, beforehand, saying, “just so u k davids a blanket hog xx.” He laughed and giddily thought to himself that he was going to be with  _ David  _ in a  _ bed  _ and he would be happy giving him the entire blanket and all the pillows and a few extra besides, if it would keep David there with him. He could rough it out on a bare sheet, drifting off to sleep staring at the broad expanse of David’s naked back. Just the thought made him a bit woozy. 

Turned out, it was true, sleeping with David was transcendent and completely worth being kicked out from under the blanket, which was a good thing because that was exactly what happened. Sure, first Patrick managed to have an excellent and extremely satisfying time with David lying on top of the blanket, then under the blanket, and then, somehow, under the blanket AGAIN- but then he drifted off to sleep under his carefully apportioned half, bone-tired and sated for what felt like the first time in his life, only to wake up at 3 AM with cold toes. He groped for the blanket to cover them and met only thin air, and turned around to see the blanket wrapped snugly around a peacefully slumbering David, completely covering his naked back and, indeed, everything but the very tips of his newly messy hair. 

At least Patrick still had the pillows. He snuggled down into one, watching as a slight breeze wafted at David’s hair, until he drifted to sleep. He woke up the next morning to kisses on his forehead and hair and neck, and soon basically forgot that he’d ever wanted to sleep under a blanket in the first place. 

The second time they slept in a bed was in Patrick’s bed at Ray’s, and the third, and the fourth, and then the fifth time was a time that they didn’t even have sex before, just slept after a movie night, and by the tenth time Patrick was barely clocking that it was the tenth time- it was just a thing that they did. And David stealing Patrick’s blanket was also just a thing. It was the price of everything else that came with David in his life, in his bed- which were great enough things that cold toes seemed like almost too cheap a price to pay. 

By the time Patrick moved to his apartment, this thing with David began to feel- well, if he was being honest he’d say that it had started to feel permanent after that first time in Patrick’s bed, when he’d woken up and seen David’s hair sticking out of the blanket and seen his products by the sink and thought “of course”- but it was starting to feel  _ even more  _ permanent, where even though Patrick would say that he was renting the apartment for himself, he let David decorate it, and got a medicine cabinet big enough for David’s many little bottles and a dresser big enough for David’s sweaters and everything was kind of oriented around the idea that David would be generally around. And at that point, when David sleeping in his bed became less an exciting treat after a long day and more an inevitability that they both knew but didn’t necessarily acknowledge as such- well, Patrick remembered the days back when his toes were warm. Once he began to think about David in terms of the rest of his life, and started googling non-heteronormative engagement rings, he started to wonder whether this rest of his life should include him buying fuzzy socks. 

If only David hadn’t made it clear that socks in bed were incorrect. 

But still, thoughts about the inconvenience of David’s blanket hogging tended to fade when faced with the fact of the wonderfulness of David being there at all, and sleeping with him, and ... _ sleeping _ with him, and all that, so Patrick put it in a mental drawer alongside his nose dilator as something that would get its time eventually. Until, that is, Patrick’s birthday upended the carefully built firewall of his life and somehow, magically, he was sitting in a booth at the Cafe Tropical with his  _ parents _ , talking about  _ David _ , letting them see into the best thing in his life. David was across the room laughing at something Stevie was saying and sipping from a colorful drink, and something tingled in Patrick’s chest when he saw the look on his parents’ faces every time he turned his head to glance across the room at David. 

“So, he makes you happy?” his mom asked, her eyes just as warm as they’d always been. 

Patrick’s mind spun as he tried to answer- it was just unquantifiable how happy David made him, how he first gave him a glimpse into entirely new vistas of happiness that Patrick had never known existed and then immediately took him there. How he, to use the cliche, made all the songs make sense. After a minute or two of mental stammering he said, “well, he hogs the blankets, but otherwise-” 

For a second Patrick panicked- joking is one thing, but joking to his parents who  _ just found out he was gay  _ about how he  _ shares a bed with the boyfriend they just found out about  _ was probably misjudged- but to his immense relief his parents just laughed. 

“Well,” said his dad, “I’ve always said that if that’s your biggest complaint and you’re still together, then things are going pretty well.”

He and his mom laughed, and she added, “it’s like this- hogging the blankets is one of those annoying habits where, well, I first heard about it with weird flossing habits- that if you’re otherwise happy with the person, you say, well, they’re amazing, and if the worst thing I have to deal with is the weird flossing then I’m doing okay. Whereas if you’re not that into them then you end up all, you know, I can’t believe they floss like that! It’s so gross! And suddenly everything you’re frustrated by with the other person comes out.” 

They all laughed together, and Patrick took a second to marvel at how he and his parents were all talking about relationships and romance and not only did he not want to bash his head in- he could relate in a way he never had with Rachel. And when his dad said that “well, your mom and I had a kind of a fight about the blanket hogging ourselves, back in the day,” besides for the parts of his inner child’s brain that naturally said  _ abort, abort, your parents are talking about what they do in their bedroom _ , it felt kind of great that his parents were talking about his and David’s relationship in the same context as their own, like it was just as- as right. 

His mom wrinkled her eyebrows at his dad. “I think that ‘fight’ is overstating it, really,” she said. 

“Well that’s because you were the blanket hogger,” his dad snorted. “You don’t really have a leg to stand on here, honey.” He turned to Patrick, who was morbidly fascinated at this point. “This wasn’t really until not long after we were married, and I was starting to realize that forever was a long time and at some point in the future I would like to not have to wear my camping socks to bed anymore, and so I  _ gently  _ brought this up with your mother and she staunchly denied that this was something that she did at all.”

His mom chuckled a bit as she said, “well, I don’t think it was quite as bad as you-”

“Nine nights out of ten, Marcy,” his dad interjected.

“Well, okay, fine,” she conceded. “But I think I had this sort of- well, is this going to be  _ the thing _ ? The weird flossing thing? So, you know, I didn’t really want to admit it. But then your dad said-”

“I said, Marcy, I love you, and I’m excited to spending the rest of my life with you, but if that hopefully long life together could include me being able to keep a blanket on through the night, that would be really great. Something like that, anyway.”

“And I just thought then, okay, we’re fine, we’re good. He thinks we’re good, and he just wants it to be even better.”

And his parents gave each other the look that, when Patrick was a kid, he would have called goopy or mushy or something, and that had made him feel vaguely sick and awkward when he was with Rachel, but now it just made him feel- well, he knew this look, because he had it like twenty times a day, looking at David. All of those things that had made him feel inadequate for so many years, not having them, were things that were exactly right now, part of his very DNA. 

And so it just felt right also when Patrick took a breath and said, “well, it’s true that forever is a long time, so I really should say something to David about the blanket thing if I ever want to wake up without cold feet again.”

His dad smiled at him and opened his mouth to say something- but before he could, his mom gasped. “Oh, Patrick, you’re going to ask him to marry you?” she said tremulously, and it said something for how well this evening had gone that Patrick only had a tiny twinge of a fear that the tremulousness was out of any kind of reluctance or upset. Any doubt he may have had was laid to rest when she reached out to take his hand and grasped it between both of hers. “Oh, honey, that’s wonderful.”

Patrick could feel himself blinking back tears as he said, “thanks- yeah- it just- it just feels right, exactly right, how it’s supposed to feel.” 

And suddenly his mother was wiping her eyes, and his father was saying gruffly, “this is exactly what we wanted for you.” 

A few weeks later, Patrick, this time alongside David, watched Patrick’s parents tear up yet again, on Skype, as they told them, sunburned from the hike, that they were engaged. David showed them the rings shyly but proudly as Patrick beamed, and Patrick’s dad said, “welcome to the family, David,” and Patrick felt like his heart would burst. 

And a week after  _ that _ , Patrick came home from work on David’s day off to find David unwrapping a package, something big and- fluffy looking?- when suddenly he made an “aha” noise as he found a piece of paper which was, as it turned out, a note:

_ Congratulations on your engagement, boys! Consider this the first installment of your engagement present. When the two of us had our blanket hogging issue, we discovered that the easiest way to deal with it was just by buying a second blanket so we each had our own, and we hope the same works for you- this way you can both spend forever with warm toes.  _

_ Love always, mom and dad _

David read the note first in puzzlement, then in shock. “You told your parents that I hog the blankets?” he asked, affronted. 

“You  _ knew  _ that you hog the blankets?” This whole time Patrick had figured that maybe it was an unconscious thing on David’s part and he was oblivious, not that he was  _ totally aware and doing it anyway _ . 

David flushed. “I- I mean, yeah,” he said, awkwardly. “And I’m sorry about that, but you- you never said anything, and it was- I guess it was nice to think that, you know, that it wasn’t a big deal to you that I was doing it.” 

“Well, I mean- yes, if I have the choice between warm feet and you, I will pick you any time, David. But technically speaking, I shouldn’t actually have to choose.” 

Patrick guessed that his tone had carried the intended amount of fondness alongside the snarkiness, because David flashed him a quick grin as he looked at the blanket packaging. “Oooh, well,” he said after a minute, “I hope you’re happy with your current blanket, because this is Polish goose down and I am  _ very  _ interested.”

“I’m sure my parents would want only the best for their future son in law,” Patrick replied, and this time David’s smile was more like a glow. 

As David continued unwrapping his new blanket, Patrick went to the linen closet to find a cover for it- when suddenly he heard behind him, “so do you think your parents have any kind of a solution for that weird flossing thing you do? Because it’s not that big of a deal, but honestly if you think about it it’s kind of gross.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the wonderful folks at Rose Apothecary for starting a Flufftober group project- it was a lot of fun and a great opportunity! 
> 
> Marcy's philosophy in this fic is courtesy of my friend Danielle, whose husband is basically perfect except that he forgets to turn lights off when he leaves the room, which is apparently totally not a big deal. The specific reference to weird flossing habits is from Parks and Rec, of course. Clint and Marcy's solution to the blanket-hogging dilemma is my own that I use in these situations.


End file.
